Hello everyone, I hope you are doing well! Welcome to the second part of the '3 AM Thoughts' series and in case you haven't checked out the first one on 'Trust Issues', I recommend you do so! And as always, please share this piece among your loved ones if you find this helpful. Now let's get on with it!
Everyone must have regrets in some form, whether it be something we've done that was embarrassing, or a critical choice of one or the other and such choices may or may not impact us greatly or whatever it may be, there usually is a sense of regret which then provides us with a mixed bag of emotions. But looking back, does regretting over some things benefit us in a way? Or do they serve as a hindrance towards our own self-progression?
There have been numerous events that have happened in our lives and each one of us must have thought, "If only I could go back to that moment and change one bit, maybe I'd have a different life right now..." Well, not necessarily - as such events could either make you or break you and that's just how life is, but even if you did make a different decision back then, there is no guarantee as to what would occur. By keeping this in mind, it allows us to feel a sense of freedom to move forward.
But how about those times that have lingered for years in our minds? Those decisions that maybe if we were given another chance at everything, it would rewrite the story we are currently portraying?
Though we may or may not have several regrets throughout our lives, we need to remember that each of them has moulded us to who we are today. Therefore, moving forward, we need to set a vision as to how we are to see ourselves as we journey through life.
But how do we get to fulfil that vision?
By making decisions that we know steers each one of us towards that vision . And in making those decisions, we then shape our destiny - whether this may be in our careers, families, relationships, faith and much more.
With all that aside, I would like to talk about regrets I have observed in terms of relationships and even life in general. I do hope you may be able to relate and reflect on these and if not, then it shows how you tend to not think of such regrets - which how we all should be.
Firstly, people tend to start a relationship with a sense of happiness, yet some are blinded by the idea that all relationships are sunshine and rainbows - which is not always the case. A relationship is like a roller coaster ride with its highs and its lows and it is up to the people involved to handle such events. But not all people tend to handle it greatly, for some it breaks them apart while for others, it is a stepping stone for a better foundation. A killer of this sense of happiness is the idea of doubt, which if we relate back to the first blog on 'Trust Issues', doubt always linger and this often happens when there is space created. A good old saying along the lines of "if in doubt, talk it out" are what people fail to emphasise and express in this modern era of dating and relationships. People tend to hold their emotions, their thoughts and even their dismay, often leaving people clueless as to how the situation is taking shape.
Another regret people tend to dwell on is the sense of guilt - I, myself struggle with this concept. It's easier for people to say "to let go and look ahead" however this is the truth of the matter - if we dwell on such things it will hinder us of our true growth and potential. A major setback I've noticed is how we are afraid to lose people - I, myself have lost many people in my life but it depends on which loss we are talking about here. I am referring to losing a friend or a loved one due to misunderstandings or disagreements. St Thomas Aquinas said that "to love is to will the good of the other" - and this is true. If we have sincere intentions towards another person, we would want what is best not just for ourselves, but for the other person too, even if at times this hurts us the most. To truly love someone means to accept them as to who they are, whether it be good or bad, and to want what is best for them and in doing so, it also allows ourselves to experience freedom - not because that person has been a burden, but because we are no longer holding on to something we should not be controlling in the first place.
Lastly, people usually regret what they say when it's bad, but from what I've seen the most, people still tend to regret expressing their feelings. Rejection, betrayal, anger, separation or even utter silence or as they call it, "ghosting" - these are some of the results that run through people's minds when they imagine the idea of expressing their feelings, but would you rather have the impending sense of regret of not expressing what you feel, and such phrases of " I should've... I could've done this... this would've happened if I said what I wanted" and much more. This occurs because we tend to grasp onto things that we know are beyond our control, and in doing so we hurt people. If ever faced with such results, as cliche as it sounds, we have to move on. No ifs, no buts, move on - it's as real as it gets.
If you've made it this far, then kudos to you and I really hope that you have found this piece helpful. When it has been all said and done, we as human beings know, that we are made to love and be loved, because God is love. It is as simple as it gets and I hope this gives you clarity as much as it did for me writing this piece.
To cap it all off, I want to say thank you for reading this piece and I hope that you will stay safe wherever you may be reading this piece. I hope your families and loved ones are doing fine and I will keep praying for you. God Bless.
Much love,
Dredd
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